Thank you, Exodus 90

Easter Octave Reflections on the Ascetical Program for Men

Around the time that I was in junior high, it began to feel like holidays were losing their sense of awe and wonder. Don’t get me wrong, I was always excited for the parties and the presents, but there was something missing in the lead up.

In my younger years, I can vividly remember the sense of anticipation during Advent, learning the Christmas carols for the school’s winter concert. I also remember the difficulty of the Lenten penances and longing for Easter so I could finally have dessert or play video games. There was always a feeling of anticipation surrounding those holidays growing up.

I suspect that the big change was that, as I got older, my parents naturally allowed me to begin to figure out the disciplines and the preparations for holidays like Christmas and Easter on my own. Unfortunately, that would see me doing the bare minimum penitentially, and I would in turn not enjoy the feasting that came afterwards because I never really gave up that much to begin with.

This year, that all changed when I decided to finally take up my cousins’ offers to join them in Exodus 90. For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s an ascetical Catholic program for men with a long list of penances and disciplines. Typically, men do it for the 90 days leading up to Easter, and that has been my experience, too.

Although it was difficult, and there were multiple times that I failed to uphold all the penances, I tried my best to stick with it. It was in the course of that struggle that I realized why the feeling of anticipation and excitement about Easter had been lacking for all of these years- the lack of penance.

Even when I began taking my faith seriously several years ago, there was a lack of intensity when it came to fasting. I would give up sweets or Youtube, but there wasn’t the level of difficulty present in my life like there was when I did Exodus 90. The lack of warm showers, sweets, tv, music, snacks- everything! It made me feel like I entered into the desert with Christ. Everyday that the countdown got closer to Easter, there was a sense of longing and excitement. I truly felt like a little kid all over again.

Moments like these are extremely humbling because I can absolutely think that I know how to handle my spiritual disciplines. Meanwhile, the Church has already worked these things out over her 2000+ year history. It truly is an act of pride to think that you know better than the combined wisdom of all the saints led by the Blessed Trinity.

So, all this is to say- I have been enjoying the Octave of Easter immensely. The joy of getting to relax the disciplines makes me revel in the excitement of the Resurrection like never before. We truly are body-soul composites, so aligning our bodies with the spirituality of penance and fasting will better help us to experience the joy of feasting.

I have Exodus 90 to thank for that. Although I may not do the full 90 days next year, I do plan on at least using the disciplines for the 40 days of Lent. I also have been more aware of the more traditional days of fasting that come throughout the year, and I would be interested in trying those as well.

Every wild berry skittle that I eat now is like a small taste of the joy that the Apostles felt when they first encountered the resurrected Christ, and I couldn’t be more thankful that I get that little taste.